A seemingly fitting poem for the death of a friendship that clearly meant less than it should have.
Near Enough
Parting is such sorrow
So say goodbye tomorrow
Romance is so tragic
And dying is such magic
You slip away
But where do you go?
And if you stay
How could you ever know?
You're dying alone now
Our love has gone home now
You scream and I hear you
Still no one is near you enough
Near enough to watch you die
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Something with Substance
Why must girls be conditioned to want something they're NEVER going to get? Guys for that matter as well.
Guys are conditioned to want women with bodies that don't exist (without airbrushing or surgery) and they have to "settle" for a less than perfect woman when in all actuality there is no such thing as a perfect woman in the first place.
Girls, on the other hand, are conditioned to want the perfect romance. They're conditioned to want this unshakeable love that only exists within the realms of fiction. Even the more realistic depictions of romance still have this ideal, this notion that there is somewhere out there a forever kind of love and that someday your prince (or princess) will come and sweep you off your feet. And then, of course, there is the question of "well, what if I'm the princess who's sweeping someone else off their feet, who's going to sweep me off mine?"
And that's what I really wonder, I wonder why I always find girls who just take and take and give nothing back. I am a romantic, passionate, compassionate person who can cook, give good massages and is good in bed. Not to sound full of myself. But, seriously, I am a GOOD girlfriend. And yet, I can't seem to hang on to a girl. My longest relationship was almost 2 years, but before that the longest relationship I had was 2 months. And all these girls, they had issues, I won't lie. I doubt they'd deny it. I mean, I had the one who left because her church told her Jesus would stop loving her, the one who said "I think you care about me too much" which, I just, I mean, what!? Then there was the one who punched me in the middle of campus because we got into an argument about the fact that she was treating me like crap (way to prove otherwise, right?) and lastly the emotionally distant Russian girl who just recently stopped loving me and can't even figure out why. Hers is the harshest blow because I care for her so much and she just wants to be friends now and how can you be friends with someone you've fallen in love with? What am I supposed to do?
When will I find love? And, let's be honest, I'm pretty sure everyone is thinking the same thing "I don't know but you're probably not going to find it here". *sigh* I just want more than what life has to offer me right now. And this desire, this craving, this hunger...this need, is killing me from the inside out and it's not fair to anyone, especially me.
Friday, June 05, 2009
ABC about you questions
ABC About You Questions
A - AVAILABLE: Yes
B - BIRTHDAY: February 21, 1988
C - CRUSHING ON: Tsk tsk, I can't say
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water?
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Anastasiya...wait...accent...nervousness. No. Okay, Ouiji and my mommy.
F - FAVORITE SONG: Dear Maria, Count Me In. It gets stuck in my head a lot so I must like it
H - HOMETOWN: Alhambra
I - IN LOVE WITH: ;) No one at the moment. But, I'm interested in someone.
J - JUGGLE: tasks, yes. objects, no.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Of course, I'm a regular mass murderer...in video games
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 6 hour drive from L.A., CA to Laughlin, NV
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Two
O - ONE WISH: Infinite wishes! oh, we can't do that one? Okay, happiness for myself and all those who matter to me
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Ouiji...she left her charger at my house
R- REASON TO SMILE: My kitties, yes, Anastasiya, that includes you. The biggest kitty I know. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Something by Tangerine Dream. idk.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:38 am. Ugh.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: black
V - VEGETABLE(S): tomatoes. Not for the flavor, I hate how they taste. But, I love how scientists know that they are a fruit but are willing to bend the rules and reclassify them because people are too stupid to get the concept of a fruit not being sweet
W- WORST HABIT: Biting my nails
X- X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Teeth, head, neck, back, both arms, both legs, both ankles, fingers, toes, God, I am so accident prone. It's like watching Good Luck Chuck without the famous people.
Y - YOYOS ARE: fun
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces
Random Questions About You
Spell your name without vowels: Jnnfr lynn hrnrch
Your favorite number: 21 for the moment
What color do you wear most?: it's a tie between black shirts and blue jeans
Least favorite color?: The ugly puke looking shades of green and purple
What are you listening to?:The sounds of the traffic outside, and my cat making chirping noises
Are you happy with your life right now?: Scared, uncertain, excited...but happy
What is your favorite class in school?: Law and Psychology
Who is your best friend: Kathleen originally. These days no one holds "the title" but Ouiji and Anastasiya are the closest friends I have
When do you start back at school/college? Summer
Are you outgoing?: Yes
Favorite pair of shoes?: My Wolverines (steel toed black boots)
Can you dance? I really can but I rarely do
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Yeah, in fact, I once tied two knots in one stem...with onl my tongue.
Can you whistle?: Yeah
Write with both hands?: No
Cross your eyes?: Can't everyone?
Walk with your toes curled?: Yeah, but I don't. It's not good for you.
THE DO'S
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: It would be ridiculously selfish and self centered not to
Do you believe in miracles?: Yeah
Do you believe in magic?: Yes, even in the most mundane
Love at first sight?: Not at all. Lust at first sight, definitely, but not love. Love takes time to grow, and it'll spoil if you rush it. Like good cooking. You have to let it simmer for an appropriate time or it won't turn out properly
Do you believe in Satan?: In a sense
Do you believe in Santa? Santa, St. Nicholas or Santa, Kris Kringle?
Do you know how to swim?: Believe it or not, I was on the swim team in high school
Do you like roller coasters?: Yes, a ton
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Hell no
THE HAVES
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yeah, it was a 30 minute plane ride though
Have you ever asked someone out?: Once. And, it's one of my new self improvement goals
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Maybe twice in my life...but yes
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yeah, but not in a long time
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yes, I'm gonna start again too, I think.
THE WHATS
What is the temperature outside?: Eh, it's gloomy. Probably cold.
What radio station do you listen to?: God, I haven't listened to the radio in years
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: I don't even remember
What was the last thing you bought?: Cooking supplies for when Anastasiya and Ouiji came for dinner
What was the last thing on TV you watched? The Colbert Report
THE WHOS
Who was the last person you IM'd?: Some girl who's also read Chelsea Handler's "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea"
Who was the last person you took a picture of: I don't remember. But, my computer took one of Anastasiya the other day. Maybe one of my cats? Probably one of my cats, actually
Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Anastasiya. but it was within context. She reminded me of something important that I had forgotten to do.
CRYING SECTION
Ever really cried your heart out?: Yes, recently. Stress can do that to you
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: I don't believe so
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Yeah, recently, actually
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Opposite sex? No. Someone I was into? Yes
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Sometimes
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes
HAPPY SECTION
Are you a happy person?: More so now than ever before since I graduated high school
LOOK AT ME
What is your current hair color?: Current? It never changes...light brown
CURRENTLY WEARING
What shirt are you wearing? My "Hi, I don't care, thanks" shirt Marbella got me for my birthday
Pants: hehehe....none
Shoes: none
Necklaces: None at the moment, gonna put on my "always" heart after I shower, though
Underwear: black...still black...been wearing up all my black undies this week
IN A BOY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: colored (blue/green/hazel) cuz brown is boring
Short or long hair: Long. Long, wavy and blonde or jet black
Height: I prefer shorter, I always end up dating taller. Go figure.
HAVE YOU EVER
Been to jail: Yeah, actually
Mooned someone: I have, but not in a long time
Thought about suicide: Not in a long, long time
Laughed so hard you cried: No, but I've been asked this a few times, actually
Cried in school: Yup
Thrown up in a store: Probably
Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: Of course, who could say "no" to that?
Seen a dead body: Not a human one, at least...not in person
Been on drugs: Not the hard stuff...alcohol is a drug...Anastasiya says I don't know how to drink. Damn girl drank an entire bottle of Absinthe in one night and was still coherent and no hangover...she must be right
Gone skinny dipping: Not yet, but I will.
THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: Hahaha...coke...but isn't that illegal? ;) I'm more of a Sprite person, sorry.
McDonald's or Burger King: Ew, neither.
Single or Group Dates: Either. I prefer single dates
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries.
Meat or Veggies: Meat
TV or Movie: Both
Guitar or Drums: I can play both a little
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Chinese or Mexican: Food? Um, whatever I'm in the mood for. People? Well, come on, I grew up in Alhambra. Those where my only two options anyway.
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Oooh, tough call. I don't really like either.
A - AVAILABLE: Yes
B - BIRTHDAY: February 21, 1988
C - CRUSHING ON: Tsk tsk, I can't say
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water?
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Anastasiya...wait...accent
F - FAVORITE SONG: Dear Maria, Count Me In. It gets stuck in my head a lot so I must like it
H - HOMETOWN: Alhambra
I - IN LOVE WITH: ;) No one at the moment. But, I'm interested in someone.
J - JUGGLE: tasks, yes. objects, no.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Of course, I'm a regular mass murderer...in video games
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 6 hour drive from L.A., CA to Laughlin, NV
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Two
O - ONE WISH: Infinite wishes! oh, we can't do that one? Okay, happiness for myself and all those who matter to me
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Ouiji...she left her charger at my house
R- REASON TO SMILE: My kitties, yes, Anastasiya, that includes you. The biggest kitty I know. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Something by Tangerine Dream. idk.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:38 am. Ugh.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: black
V - VEGETABLE(S): tomatoes. Not for the flavor, I hate how they taste. But, I love how scientists know that they are a fruit but are willing to bend the rules and reclassify them because people are too stupid to get the concept of a fruit not being sweet
W- WORST HABIT: Biting my nails
X- X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Teeth, head, neck, back, both arms, both legs, both ankles, fingers, toes, God, I am so accident prone. It's like watching Good Luck Chuck without the famous people.
Y - YOYOS ARE: fun
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces
Random Questions About You
Spell your name without vowels: Jnnfr lynn hrnrch
Your favorite number: 21 for the moment
What color do you wear most?: it's a tie between black shirts and blue jeans
Least favorite color?: The ugly puke looking shades of green and purple
What are you listening to?:The sounds of the traffic outside, and my cat making chirping noises
Are you happy with your life right now?: Scared, uncertain, excited...but happy
What is your favorite class in school?: Law and Psychology
Who is your best friend: Kathleen originally. These days no one holds "the title" but Ouiji and Anastasiya are the closest friends I have
When do you start back at school/college? Summer
Are you outgoing?: Yes
Favorite pair of shoes?: My Wolverines (steel toed black boots)
Can you dance? I really can but I rarely do
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Yeah, in fact, I once tied two knots in one stem...with onl my tongue.
Can you whistle?: Yeah
Write with both hands?: No
Cross your eyes?: Can't everyone?
Walk with your toes curled?: Yeah, but I don't. It's not good for you.
THE DO'S
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: It would be ridiculously selfish and self centered not to
Do you believe in miracles?: Yeah
Do you believe in magic?: Yes, even in the most mundane
Love at first sight?: Not at all. Lust at first sight, definitely, but not love. Love takes time to grow, and it'll spoil if you rush it. Like good cooking. You have to let it simmer for an appropriate time or it won't turn out properly
Do you believe in Satan?: In a sense
Do you believe in Santa? Santa, St. Nicholas or Santa, Kris Kringle?
Do you know how to swim?: Believe it or not, I was on the swim team in high school
Do you like roller coasters?: Yes, a ton
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Hell no
THE HAVES
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yeah, it was a 30 minute plane ride though
Have you ever asked someone out?: Once. And, it's one of my new self improvement goals
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Maybe twice in my life...but yes
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yeah, but not in a long time
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yes, I'm gonna start again too, I think.
THE WHATS
What is the temperature outside?: Eh, it's gloomy. Probably cold.
What radio station do you listen to?: God, I haven't listened to the radio in years
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: I don't even remember
What was the last thing you bought?: Cooking supplies for when Anastasiya and Ouiji came for dinner
What was the last thing on TV you watched? The Colbert Report
THE WHOS
Who was the last person you IM'd?: Some girl who's also read Chelsea Handler's "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea"
Who was the last person you took a picture of: I don't remember. But, my computer took one of Anastasiya the other day. Maybe one of my cats? Probably one of my cats, actually
Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Anastasiya. but it was within context. She reminded me of something important that I had forgotten to do.
CRYING SECTION
Ever really cried your heart out?: Yes, recently. Stress can do that to you
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: I don't believe so
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Yeah, recently, actually
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Opposite sex? No. Someone I was into? Yes
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Sometimes
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes
HAPPY SECTION
Are you a happy person?: More so now than ever before since I graduated high school
LOOK AT ME
What is your current hair color?: Current? It never changes...light brown
CURRENTLY WEARING
What shirt are you wearing? My "Hi, I don't care, thanks" shirt Marbella got me for my birthday
Pants: hehehe....none
Shoes: none
Necklaces: None at the moment, gonna put on my "always" heart after I shower, though
Underwear: black...still black...been wearing up all my black undies this week
IN A BOY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: colored (blue/green/hazel) cuz brown is boring
Short or long hair: Long. Long, wavy and blonde or jet black
Height: I prefer shorter, I always end up dating taller. Go figure.
HAVE YOU EVER
Been to jail: Yeah, actually
Mooned someone: I have, but not in a long time
Thought about suicide: Not in a long, long time
Laughed so hard you cried: No, but I've been asked this a few times, actually
Cried in school: Yup
Thrown up in a store: Probably
Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: Of course, who could say "no" to that?
Seen a dead body: Not a human one, at least...not in person
Been on drugs: Not the hard stuff...alcohol is a drug...Anastasiya says I don't know how to drink. Damn girl drank an entire bottle of Absinthe in one night and was still coherent and no hangover...she must be right
Gone skinny dipping: Not yet, but I will.
THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: Hahaha...coke...but isn't that illegal? ;) I'm more of a Sprite person, sorry.
McDonald's or Burger King: Ew, neither.
Single or Group Dates: Either. I prefer single dates
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries.
Meat or Veggies: Meat
TV or Movie: Both
Guitar or Drums: I can play both a little
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Chinese or Mexican: Food? Um, whatever I'm in the mood for. People? Well, come on, I grew up in Alhambra. Those where my only two options anyway.
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Oooh, tough call. I don't really like either.
The shit to do list
The List of Shit to do (once in Anastasiya's lovely writing. now in blah)
GOAL: Take her out on a normal date
STEPS:
A. Go on at least one normal date
B. Driving:
1. License
2. Insurance
3. Bring car to Riverside
C. Insert joy here
D. Ask her out on a normal date
GOAL: Better yourself, mind and body
STEPS:
1. Get back in shape (round may be a shape but it won’t be mine for long)
2. Get a job (soon)
3. Don’t give yourself a break
-Do something/work towards a goal
4. R E M E M B E R
-Do this for yourself, not someone else
THINGS TO DO (places to see):
[ ] Take Anastasiya to Knott’s Berry Farm
[ ] Hike the “C”
[ ] Road trip to San Francisco
[ ] Los Angeles Gay Pride (info)
[ ] San Francisco Gay Pride (info)
[ ] Geeky conventions (Potter-cons, comi-cons, etc.)
[ ] Soldering kit and spray paint (wind chime and t-shirts)
[ ] Figure out a way to stop biting my nails
[ ] Play DDR for 2-3 hours straight (endurance training)
[ ] Force Anastasiya to play DDR with me
GOAL: Take her out on a normal date
STEPS:
A. Go on at least one normal date
B. Driving:
1. License
2. Insurance
3. Bring car to Riverside
C. Insert joy here
D. Ask her out on a normal date
GOAL: Better yourself, mind and body
STEPS:
1. Get back in shape (round may be a shape but it won’t be mine for long)
2. Get a job (soon)
3. Don’t give yourself a break
-Do something/work towards a goal
4. R E M E M B E R
-Do this for yourself, not someone else
THINGS TO DO (places to see):
[ ] Take Anastasiya to Knott’s Berry Farm
[ ] Hike the “C”
[ ] Road trip to San Francisco
[ ] Los Angeles Gay Pride (info)
[ ] San Francisco Gay Pride (info)
[ ] Geeky conventions (Potter-cons, comi-cons, etc.)
[ ] Soldering kit and spray paint (wind chime and t-shirts)
[ ] Figure out a way to stop biting my nails
[ ] Play DDR for 2-3 hours straight (endurance training)
[ ] Force Anastasiya to play DDR with me
Monday, April 06, 2009
Joy, terror, pleasure, pain, emotionally I feel like a glass that is being emptied out and filled up again and again and again.
What you are about to read may scare you away or it may draw you in like a moth to a flame. This is a post that was inspired by a very traumatic event. An event that I'd rather not make public. It's one of those things that can be a deal breaker...and it's one of those things that you just don't want EVERYONE to know...but some people eventually have to be told.
I'll start by saying that I am and I'm not a player. If I really tried, I could be with a girl sexually and move on. But, the problem is that emotionally, I don't like to just sleep with a girl and move on. I don't like "hit it and quit it" and I'm not a big fan of "friends with benefits" either. But, at the same time...once WE (the person I've slept with and I) have made that decision to become sexual I can't simply jump into a relationship with them (should they wish to be in one) because jumping into a relationship with the first person I've slept with since I've been single is what got me into the mess that I'm in in the first place. Which tends to make me cautious about sleeping with someone in the first place and can, at times, lead to feelings of guilt or regret. It can make me feel as if I'd used the person, even if that had not been my intention.
A few months after I broke up with the last girl that I had been with, I decided to jump back into the dating scene and I had a few dates lined up, after the first one....I canceled all the others and got into a relationship after the first date with the first girl. That was a huge mistake. I should have gone out with the other girls to have more options...see who was BEST for me...not just who was good enough at the moment.
But, on the other hand I wouldn't trade that relationship for the world because I've grown up so much and experienced so much as a result. I've learned to accept responsibility for my actions, I've moved out of my parents house, I've learned how to keep up my house better, how to shop better, how to cope better, I'm going to a four year university instead of just coasting by in a community college with no real intention of going...anywhere. None of this would have happened when it did if not for that disastrous train wreck of a relationship. I do thank her for that. I just hate her for everything else. But, in hindsight, even though I know what I should have done...I'm glad that I didn't because it introduced me to so many other wonderful things about myself, so many wonderful things about the world, so many wonderful people.
I spoke with a friend last night, describing how I feel and this is what I came up with:
My friend told me that I was making "A surprising amount of sense actually." so...I know she understands. God, she's such a good friend. She really is one of the only ones that I have.
And all the while I just want to cry with joy and anger and frustration and confusion. I feel like I was being literally imprisoned, chained down and held hostage. And now the chains have fallen away and I'm just standing here bathing in the warm light, feeling the wind on my face, facing the world with new resolve and the freedom is like the sweetest honey on my lips...it just feels so good to be alive at this moment. So excruciatingly good. Like getting a hickey, that pleasure mixed with some pain. All these emotions have created this kind of feeling of joy and terror and...god, it just feels so good. I really feel like crying out in happiness.
I'll start by saying that I am and I'm not a player. If I really tried, I could be with a girl sexually and move on. But, the problem is that emotionally, I don't like to just sleep with a girl and move on. I don't like "hit it and quit it" and I'm not a big fan of "friends with benefits" either. But, at the same time...once WE (the person I've slept with and I) have made that decision to become sexual I can't simply jump into a relationship with them (should they wish to be in one) because jumping into a relationship with the first person I've slept with since I've been single is what got me into the mess that I'm in in the first place. Which tends to make me cautious about sleeping with someone in the first place and can, at times, lead to feelings of guilt or regret. It can make me feel as if I'd used the person, even if that had not been my intention.
A few months after I broke up with the last girl that I had been with, I decided to jump back into the dating scene and I had a few dates lined up, after the first one....I canceled all the others and got into a relationship after the first date with the first girl. That was a huge mistake. I should have gone out with the other girls to have more options...see who was BEST for me...not just who was good enough at the moment.
But, on the other hand I wouldn't trade that relationship for the world because I've grown up so much and experienced so much as a result. I've learned to accept responsibility for my actions, I've moved out of my parents house, I've learned how to keep up my house better, how to shop better, how to cope better, I'm going to a four year university instead of just coasting by in a community college with no real intention of going...anywhere. None of this would have happened when it did if not for that disastrous train wreck of a relationship. I do thank her for that. I just hate her for everything else. But, in hindsight, even though I know what I should have done...I'm glad that I didn't because it introduced me to so many other wonderful things about myself, so many wonderful things about the world, so many wonderful people.
I spoke with a friend last night, describing how I feel and this is what I came up with:
"I'm scared and excited and confused and I don't know what to do. I don't want to just jump back into a relationship right away because that's why I'm having this problem in the first place. I don't want to enjoy being single because I never actually enjoyed BEING single. I don't want to just date around. I really don't want to just sleep around because I'd like to think that I'm a little more mature than that. I just feel like I'm at an intersection and each road leads to some sort of grand prize but it's an economic decision because if I go down this road then I can't see what was down that road, if I go down that road I can't see what was down those two roads and I just wish there was this master road that could allow me to see, like, a window into each road that I'm passing up, just so that I can see what I would be missing if I chose one road over the other. Even if that means not choosing any of the roads...because I just want to know what's out there because I'm just so lost. God, I probably sound so stupid and I'm not even making any sense."
My friend told me that I was making "A surprising amount of sense actually." so...I know she understands. God, she's such a good friend. She really is one of the only ones that I have.
And all the while I just want to cry with joy and anger and frustration and confusion. I feel like I was being literally imprisoned, chained down and held hostage. And now the chains have fallen away and I'm just standing here bathing in the warm light, feeling the wind on my face, facing the world with new resolve and the freedom is like the sweetest honey on my lips...it just feels so good to be alive at this moment. So excruciatingly good. Like getting a hickey, that pleasure mixed with some pain. All these emotions have created this kind of feeling of joy and terror and...god, it just feels so good. I really feel like crying out in happiness.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
out to lunch
Okay so my fiance and I got into a huge argument today but now everything is doing okay. I like that. I'm glad that she and I are doing well again.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Prop 8 sucks
I honestly think that we should all ban together, just as a social experiment, and come up with some compelling reasons why we should severely limit the rights of smokers. We can say that they make bad parents because they expose their children to harmful second hand smoke and they're more likely to drink and we all know that alcoholics make horrible parents, and that since they're going to die sooner than most healthy people they're going to cause their children the trauma of having a parent die sooner than they would if they weren't smokers. I'll bet we could get enough support from the general public to completely strip their rights away, through proper legislative process, of course. And then, when a bunch of yes on 8 voting smokers are scratching their heads saying "how could this have happened" we can all point our fingers at that clause in our constitution and say "well, as the Good lord says, you reap what you sow" and be done with it.
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